Why Meghan Markle Scares People
I’ve been thinking about this photo for days. The way the light hits the raindrops makes it look like Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are being doused with diamonds. The pop of cerulean of her dress draws your eye to her first, then you’re drawn into her beaming smile, and you notice Prince Harry. His grin is just as wide as Meghan Markle’s, and his blue suit matches her dress — not in a matchy-matchy way, but complimentary. Then, there’s the umbrella. He’s holding it for both of them and they are both safe and protected from the elements swirling around them.
The image is particularly profound given the context of this week. Ever since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announced that they were stepping down from the Royal Family in January, there’s been a tsunami of gossip about behind-the-scenes strife. Yesterday, MSNBC even featured a guest who called Meghan Markle “five clicks up from trailer trash.”
"I think what is real has really, really upset the British public is that Meghan Markle, who many people consider as only, you know, five clicks up from trailer trash, has actually tried to disrespect the queen. And the queen is the most respected person, most respected woman, in the world."
I don’t know Meghan Markle personally, but I do know she terrifies conservative Brits. They see her bi-racial background as horrifying, her outspokenness as rude, and her personal ambition as downright unbecoming the wife of a prince.
The thing that fascinates me about Meghan Markle is she is a threat to the British monarchy. Not because she’s spirited Harry to Canada or flies Elton John’s private jet. It’s because her very existence undercuts the belief system that the Royal Family are special simply because they were born to be. All of the upper crust, with their inherited titles and fusty mansions, are “upper crust” merely because of their bloodlines. Meghan Markle isn’t just bi-racial, American, and the star of Suits. She is a self-made woman who makes the job of being a royal — the photo ops, the charity work, the speeches, the fairy tale wedding, even the tabloid moments — look easy.
If Meghan Markle can be royal, then anyone can. And that means the royals aren’t special at all.
In Other News…
Katy Perry revealed she is pregnant with Orlando Bloom’s baby in her new music video, “Never Worn White.” I have fond memories of being desperately in love with Orlando Bloom as Legolas. 16-year-old me thought there was nothing hotter than an emotionally unavailable elf. I remember crying about it one night to my mother and she said, “Honey, you can do better.” Today I am alone and panicked about the Coronavirus while Katy Perry is pregnant with Orlando Bloom’s seed. I ask you, friends, who did better?
LaineyGossip is reporting that Ben Affleck might be dating Ana de Armas, which makes sense for him, I guess. I did learn that he’s fluent in Spanish and that is impressive to me. I have tried everything — DuoLingo for three weeks, a workbook my mom gave me, everything! — to learn Spanish and it’s never taken. And I saw this great Rae Sanni tweet this week. It’s a great week for Ben Affleck.
The Hollywood Reporter reported that Disney+ has ordered a Beauty and the Beast prequel series starring…Josh Gad and Luke Evans. Ah yes, give me those six hours of Luke Evans chomping on eggs and getting in reps. Tell me that Le Fou is in love with Gaston, but show me NOTHING! (We must think of the international market!) Honestly, I do want a Beauty and the Beast prequel but focused on Stephen Merchant’s character: Toilet Man. Get me and my dear friend Sarah Marrs to write it, as we have spent far too much time speculating about Toilet Man’s time as a toilet in the castle.
Oh Bless Me, Gossip Icon
Earlier this week, I got to attend the premiere of HBO’s The Plot Against America. It’s a gripping and heart-wrenching miniseries set in an alternate timeline where Lindbergh becomes President instead of FDR in 1940. At the screening I was sat next to Page Six gossip queen Cindy Adams. She was dressed up to the nines in a fur headpiece and glittering gold jewelry. I was wearing a J. Crew sweater and black Timberlands.
“I’m Cindy Adams,” she said at one point. “I saw you looking at me when you sat down.”
Other things Cindy Adams said to me:
“Is there a future for television?”
“Is streaming the future?”
“How did you get in here?”
She actually led with that last one and it was the greatest ice breaker I’ve heard in my life! How *did* I get into a ritzy HBO premiere, sharing oxygen with the likes of Winona Ryder and Rebecca Hall? The world may never know. (No, I’m a TV critic and I work with the show’s publicists at TCA a lot.)
Please Clap, er, Click
Speaking of my profession, here are some reviews and thinkpieces from this week you may enjoy.
Westworld Season 3 Review: Still Confusing, Still the Most Epic Show on TV
Little Fires Everywhere on Hulu Review: Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington Shine in a Lukewarm Adaptation
Is Netflix’s Ugly Delicious Setting Up an Aziz Ansari Comeback?
(I’ve heard back channel chatter that I’m spot on with my theory in that last one.)